I hope mine doesn't look like that
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
You think they'd ask my permission before turning Pajamarama into an orgy. I saw too many of my friends dicks at once the door got kicked down.
She keeps sending, "show me your elephant trunk."
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I need to find a more grown up way of dealin with a hangover at the office than pringles and mountain dew at 8:30 am...
we played dirty jenga the drinking edition... some girl really just broke a rib? how do we even go this hard
I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL?
Hate to say it and even though I definitely have a biased opinion but I'm surprised your not, sleeping with anyone else. Good personality, charisma and amazing in the sack.
Feel free to use me as a reference.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
"YOU A2TE UNDERAGE LOL" Got that at 2am. Gotta stop dating alcoholics.
See this is where I mess up.. I get distracted by the option of consistent sex and free beer
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Randomize
