please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
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I was just handed jelly beans by a guy in a penguin costume. Standby for confirmation on if they are actually drugs.
It's ok that you're screwing someone else while trying to get back with me, I'm banging three girls while I ignore you.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Just saw a guy I fucked in a clown suit in the bar. It's not Halloween. I have got to start making better life decisions.
At one point I yelled "THIS IS MY PENANCE FOR EVERYTHING I'VE DONE WRONG" and started saying Hail Marys
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've never said "lesbians" so many times in a short response answer
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
Stumbled out of my bed this morning into the bathroom at 8 am still drunk, obviously. The Mormon on my floor was in the bathroom. I could practically hear her doing hail marys for me.
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
It’s a hundred kinds of wrong to do Jell-O shots at home alone. Right?
I support drinking alone. But Jell-O shots. That’s a game changer.
I'm at the drive thru window, five minutes out. If the bathtub is empty or you're dressed when I arrive I'm not sharing.
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