Did you call me this morning? I was really drugged up and don't remember.
Have a good day. My vagina shrank.
Lonely and bored. Am I allowed to play Dance Dance Revolution by myself?
dude...I wrote 15 jersey shore quotes on her body. she is going to do the walk of shame with snookie on her forehead.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
It's like his dick is pushing through his pants and driving him over here.
Just seen a lady with the back of her head shaved and the rest of her hair in a pony tail like a sumo wrestler with a 6 inch glass dolphin hair clip. Nothing is going to ruin my day.
You hid from a cop under some guy's canoe on his lawn.. It didnt work
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
The quality of my porn watching experience has significantly declined. Thanks shattered iphone screen
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
Y’all did coke off my Puff The Magic Dragon plate.😂
JB just got pulled over and I am in the trunk...... this isnt good
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