Is it wrong to scream your own name when about to bust?
you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
I love watching the kids I sold drugs to score touchdowns
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Told the cab driver to take me to narnia last night. Turns out there's a bar called narnia on the south side of town. We are in business
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
You know you've been having sex for 9 months when you do Rock Paper Scissors for who has to go on top
I think you're literally the first guy to ever pick up a chick from pinterest.
I really don’t want to have kids.
I thought we agreed we were done with dirty talk for the day
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
Randomize
