My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
i just jacked off to lindsey vonn, i feel so patriotic
USA! USA! USA!
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
Everyone is now just referring to it as "the night Hannah couldn't get laid" so needless to say you didn't miss much
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
He sent me a meme at 3am. Usually guys just send me booty calls that late. I think I'm in love
and then you proceeded to throw soup at him for calling you a bitch...a CAN of soup...
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
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