i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Buying the inflatable beer pong table for the pool was one of the best investments I've ever made
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
Are you vicariously golddigging through me?!
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Ok you had this coming you put a sponsored filter on a dick pic
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
Randomize
