I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
His vagina is bleeding blood all over the court
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
Not sure how ur night is going, but unless u also saw a naked drunk chick pissing outside i doubt it can top mine
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
What kind of present accurately says to my male suitemate "I'm sorry that I accidentally flashed you my vagina while I was super drunk"?
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
I just got a hug from a random kid in my class. he said I was a champ at the bar last night..someone help me.
I'm really sorry I called you a "smug, arrogant, boyfriend-fucking piece of defecation". I was super drunk.
I was going to be mad, but then I remembered you don't use autocorrect and spelled everything correctly and I was kinda impressed.
Randomize
