There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
I'm pretty sure I just overheard my boss call his sperm precious metal...
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
Voted patient of the month again at the urgent care. I need to rethink my life choices.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If i had 4 hands right now is have booze in 3 of them and my cock in the other all because you went to denver. just sayin.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
Shitty. Well if it makes you feel any better I just had a toothless wasted crackhead in my bar who was mad because there are TOO MANY FUCKIN TREES in Nantucket.
She dresses like Bruce Banner and fucks like the Hulk. She is all of my lesbian fantasies come true.
See if shell let you call her dr banner in bed
Like how hard is it to come up to me with chocolate and wine and say "hey, you're beautiful. Wanna marathon Doctor Who in sweatpants?" Hell yes!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
If I could steal your goatee and hide it under my bed to keep your from wearing it, I would.
Is it bad when your own grandmother calls you a whore?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
I just punched myself in the vagina to prove a point. Please pray for me.
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
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