I may or may not have started my period at the bar. Good thing I have dark jeans on.
If it looks like I didn't change from last night, it's because I didn't.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
i want you to know that after i type the word "your" , vagina is next on my auto correct text
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
Snorting lines of xanex off the back of my grandparents toilet before church. Thinking of u.
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I think the Predator is hunting me in my house. If I don't text you later, send Danny Glover. I love you all.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Both of us came out of our rooms at the same time in boxers and sat on the couch. No words were spoken.
I’m sorry my lady boner messed up your mojo!!
Randomize
