Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
Today in class was pretty awsome. I dont feel like i have to throw up and im actually paying attention. This is a first for friday
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
There needs to be a crayon color for how blue my balls are
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
Would you please stop exposing your tits on my couch?
Fuck you, my tits are fabulous
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You put THAT much Jager in me and expect me to realize when things are a bad idea?
Randomize
