i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
I got to the apartment, I was handed a beer within 20 seconds, I'm glowing in the dark, there's fog everywhere, and now I'm wearing a sombrero because apparently it's silly hat night. I never want to leave.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I don't know where Tiffany is but I just saw her shoes in the bar lost and found
Awkward moment: seeing and saying hey to the MILF you're sleeping with while shopping with your mother and sister.
But I do know they give away thousands and thousands in booze
My liver has a boner
I don't care how fucking drunk you are, you don't forget wanting to shove a wine bottle up someone's ass.
I think we can all agree that the size of her boobs, combined with beer, is destroying my ability to judge looks.
Showed up physical therapy hammered. The therapist just says this isnt part of the program.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
This whole quitting my bad habits all at once is really messing with my ability to function.
Look, he's a hot korean guy with a motorcycle and a great ass. I'm gonna do head-titingly kinky shit with him.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
