I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
Wow thanks 4 throwing jello at me an yelling who invited that guy to all the guys at the bar
Did you not learn anything for "HERPES SCARE 2010".........
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
Today is definitely a "stand over the toilet and pee through the opening at the bottom of my boxers" kind of day.
I guess the silver lining is that having a big dick really comes in handy when you're hungover.
It's a mixed blessing.
IT'S A HOLY FESTIVAL. A BUDDHIST CELEBRATION OF PENIS.
You force fed me pizza in bed last night. That was fun
You don't care if I shave my legs, but you insist I be conscious for sex. Whatever. I really think your priorities are out of whack.
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I've started budgeting for next year. It looks like I'll be crying tears of dollar bills and handing them over to pay back my unholy college debt.
I woke up saran wrapped to a chair....
I woke up to a huge bag of McDonalds breakfast, a cup of coffe and Advil. The note read "yeah its a one night thing, but I felt bad so here you go. Thanks"
He just set a new unobtainable standard in one night stand etiquette.
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