connan obrien reminds me of an asparagus spear
ew. I made a sandwich, and the cheese reminded me of her vagina
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
It's a line of coke at 10 a.m. kind of Saturday. Don't be a pussy about life.
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
when the washing machine is on all the beer bottles jiggle and clink against each other... "drink us drink us drink us"
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
I'm drinking nothing but vodka and coffee for the next 48 hours. For science.
There was another blizzard last night and at one point I was drinking 3 beers at once. Driving home didn't seem like a wise option
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I hate when my Bumble matches make it hard for me to stalk them.
he ended the message XOXO, who the fuck does he think he is GossipGirl.
Randomize
