so... i had sex tonight
with a midget
nicccce tits for a little person
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
Tried to make hash outta one of those keurig machines. I don't know why. Maybe the drunkenness, but now I have mushy bud and no ganja
Not after That Night. No. I hate tequila. And it hates me. Very mutual hateship going on.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
hes like bread. how could bread be dangeous
Sex with him is like pizza, it can be shitty but its stillll pizza.....
It's all fun and games until your in the alumni campus center puking on the floor
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
There is a special place in hell for people who only eat the center of the pot brownies.
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
I have acquired a mango...tonight is successful so far
Her name is susan
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