And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
I was just wished a Happy Valentine's Day by the (Mexican) Chinese food delivery guy. I've never had clearer "get your life together" message than that.
If I die I have 2 requests one a viking funeral prye and 2 I want you to take over my facebook and haunt the fuck out of everyone
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I would never do this in real life. It's only college.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
Basically I will actually need a reindeer pulled sleigh to make it to all the penises in one night.
He understood my need for pizza was more important than my need for sex. He's the one.
So from zero to dumpster fire, how shitty do you feel this morning? I'm hovering somewhere around trainwreck.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Randomize
