I don't get calzones all look the same but taste so different
i told her that she could bring as many friends as she wanted and then she asked how many people i could fit in my bed...BEST. DAY. EVERRRR.
i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
We sat in your minivan all night in a parking lot pretending we were in the magic school bus going to the sun
last night some bitch put bruce along with his entire fishbowl in her purse and tried to leave. how drunk do you have to be to steal someone's pet??
I just walked in on my dad looking at porn. is there protocol for this?
This got awkward about two "Oh yeah"s ago.
we were like drunken butterflies among sober caterpillars,
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
i got up, ate a McDouble, then went straight back to bed.
You sure know how to make a day worth living.
What section do you want to sit in? The screaming girls section or the "when you guys were popular I was straight and pretended not to like you guys" section?
i showed up really high and was trying to not be,so in order to not seem high, i got plastered
Randomize
