The girl in the car behind me just took a bowl hit. I miss college.
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
Still can't decide which I'm more disappointed about: the blow job I gave him or the donuts I ate after.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
i feel like i am carryihg a baby. a baby made of alcohol.
I told him if he wanted to lose weight he had to learn self control. Less than ten minutes after that I ate a cookie off the floor...
I'm just a little concerned for your well being... and your penis too I suppose.
It's amazing where one well timed dick pic can get you in life.
I just overheard an "I'm going to get your dick so hard" conversation at Costco.
how fucking stupid do you have to be to think I'm going to accept your friend request months after falling asleep during one night stand sex?
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
Maybe life is about finding the person you DO want to cuddle with after they rail you like a porn star
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