can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Would it be a dick move to report the suite next-door for a noise violation? They're singing Bad Romance off-key and I'm not sure if I can allow that.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
And next time please put a text between discussing my orgasms and discussing your son - that was weird.
Woke up with a full plate of KFC next to my face. I didn't really question it.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
One day. I will touch his hair. I'm curious if it'll be like a soft cloud.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Dude you're fine. You're 5 minutes away from your house and you're eating fig newtons
If he doesn't get here soon I'm taking off my thong and eating his dinner.
I'm praying to the gods of sex we both get laid this weekend. Amen. Love you
Randomize
