Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
I saw his package. It spoke to me.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
The last thing i remember was high fiving everyone on the planet.
Can you explain my first weekend back, because there a lot of blacked out gaps and 32 friend requests i would like to know about
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Idk he's just laying there passed out with a French fry up his nose and without any pants on. Boner and everything.
I love you. We're gonna celebrate your 21st by putting people in duct tape bikinis and pushing them down tequila slip and slides
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
i could have got laid, but instead, i threw up in her hair. you can cross that off the bucket list.
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