Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
my momz letting me make the christmas card in photoshop
so that means christmas in space?
imma make our dead cats ghosts like obi wan kenobi
I blew him while he was standing up and he drooled on my head
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
your girlfriend showed us your homemade porn last night.
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
The time stamp on this text message is reason enough alone to not leave me unsupervised
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I still don’t believe you, the dog DID NOT tear down the shower curtain and shit on the floor.. we found you in the fetal position in the bathroom holding your tequila gun. It was you!
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
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