just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
PS Can you transmit a UTI to a sexual partner? I tried to ask, but the doctor just told me to abstain (sup Bristol) for my own good w/o answering
strike ten. I need to stop drinkng
I just overhead some girl saying that she's trying out for the real world so she has a backup if she doesn't get into teach for america...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just told me i make him happier than drugs. that's some serious shit right there
I'm drinking and working out! I'm bench pressing the beer pong table and doing push ups and lifting the chair.
Please tell me you're not home alone watching Glitter.
Can you see in?
Well if homeless lesbian experimenting divorcée is your new M.O., you're gonna need to start drinking more anyway so if that's what it takes to talk about it tomorrow afternoon, bottoms up bitch
You left me alone with nothing but donuts and my thoughts.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I just want to nap and funnel a bottle of wine in a cute dress
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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