what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
Why does everyone think all I do is drink? I go to class on wednesdays
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
I fukin lobve the states. Girls here let me fuck them because they like my accent. I may not go back
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
I had sex with her because I didn't want to hurt her feelings.. You're the one who told me I should be more sensitive.
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
If life deals in absolutes, the in betweens are the most hairy.... Fortune cookie wisdom from a stoned Megan.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
If you do wifi you would be helping my penis out & real friends care about their friends penises...
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
Don't tell me you're on acid again
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