U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
wake up i wanna do it froggy style
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
Are you sure you didn't shit in my back yard?
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
If I stopped drinking I'd have to take up murdering.
As your friend, who loves and cares for you, I have to be honest. I am judging you so VERY hard right now. Sorry.
I have just received a gold-medal-deserving sext. He wrote me a fucking novel. Not only am I incredibly turned on but I am beyond impressed. He is the sext god. I must bow to him.
Randomize
