At one point last night while tipping the bartender you looked at him and said "If I need money later, I'm taking this back"
you told the bartender not to open the bottle because you were gonna put it in your purse in case you get cut off later
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
New drinking game. Every time Romney and Santorum switch leads, take a shot.
....this is what your political science major is getting you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
I'm just going to ride dicks all the way to the to the gates of hell
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had a quickie at work in the office. He walked out before me, and I fell asleep while waiting a few minutes to walk out. Yeah. He's got that change your life dick
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
IF YOU DIE ON LSD YOU DIE FOR REAL
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
If he moved really quickly from "hi I've had a crush on you for years" to "send nudes" you probably were used.
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