none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I have carpet burn on my ass, I'm rethinking my decisions last night.
his facebook status quotes britney spears so there is always that
she spent the whole night flailing her arms because "primates are the only species who can move their arms like that and we shouldn't waste it"
They're doing shots to celebrate every 15 minutes passing. You can come get them.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Only thing exciting about him was his dick.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
I had to explain to the doctor why I'm peeing blood. He still didn't believe a girl would have that much sex... You could feel the judgement forming in the room when I went into the details...
Damn, well a girls gotta get laid too
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I told him I might be pregnant and he said he'd buy me a test and a twix bar. I'm marrying him. Tomorrow.
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