If you're really into hairy Serbian chicks, Cleveland has a lot to offer(216): We're going to cougar night, the serbian chicks are the best aged.
Since when does wearing a condom and going down on me make someone a gentlemen?
you hid your keys in a box of lucky charms because drunk you was apparently going to eat them for breakfast...
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Because once my penis is in motion, it stays in motion unless another force acts upon it.
I will be naked everywhere
It took all the strength I had tto sit at my desk and not tear off my business attire and run screaming from adulthood and flourescent lights.
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Hey, don't blame me for the shitty evening; I wasn't the one who promised hookers, Dos Equis and foster kittens. Keith was.
He's not put together enough to have that big of a dick
because nothing says “let’s fucking rage” like getting a compensation letter and some company stock
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