So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
The most interesting things happen to you when your pants come down. I truly envy you.
So I missed her say 'don't' before 'come in me'. She felt what was happening and freaked - which actually made the moment 100x better.
Girl walking by was talking on the phone about how he needed to write a gratitude list in her letter to god this week. Too stoned
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Mystery solved: The table is broken because I had sex on it last night.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
She got turned on by my fanny pack full of condoms. I can't believe you said it was a bad idea to wear it to the party.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
I found a hot kiwi last time and sucked his dick. That's what rooftop bars are made for.
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Someone puked in my crockpot. Your friends can’t come over any more.
Randomize
