I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
My New Years Resolution was to get a girl I dont know pregnant. 8 months later I can check that off the list..
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
noo you weren't that drunk. you just knocked the grill over and couldn't get the key in the door, so you climbed through the window. success.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
The chick got into the cab with us and said we have 3 chances to guess what she just stuck up her ass. Hello to you to!
If you got tons of KY ads on HuluPlus, it's because I hit "relevant" every time.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Went into Walmart to get a pregnancy test. Came out with a beta fish and chocolate.
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
so, i take that as a legit invitation into his pants
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
