Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
he came and i only had my diet coke to rinse.. can you say coke float?
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
I'm just going to say , cocktail races are not for a Wednesday night maybe not even a Friday type of deal
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
Me and you. The most fucked up people on the planet drinking together. Hell yeah
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
Randomize
