Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Did everyone make it back alive?
You say that with such hope.
Is that a no?
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
Is tonight a drink a little and reminisce kinda night, or a drink everything and pray kinda night?
He's tweaking out . If he's on fucking bathsalts and eats my face like a chalupa pull the plug. I don't want to live with no fucking face. Pull. The. Plug.
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
It must suffice lest there secretly exist a picture of me walking out of the ocean at midnight naked and half mast with a sea urchin on my ass
I told my boss that I'm in a slutty stage of my life right now and the chef overheard and slipped me his number. I might get laid tonight
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
So, got kind of drunk last night, made out with some guy, and somehow stole his credit card. Don't even know.
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
Randomize
