1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
like semen in my mouth is absolutely disgusting but i'd still like to experience it
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
The stripper just invited me to take shots with him out at his car after he gets off stage.. I mean why not? I've already seen everything he's got and it'll be easy to get him naked.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
you'll probably come home to me baked as fuck and shirtless
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
Sober sex is weird like I didn't expect this when I got clean
Randomize
