We played Rock, Paper, Scissors last night to see who was the least drunk to drive.
The Rock won.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Wella between the drunkards, the inevitable slutty costumes, and someone doing a BODY SHOT OFF A PREGNANT GIRL, i lost my halloween spirit. Bah humbug.
There is no way I'm taking advice from somone who's idea of a balanced diet consists of vodka and lemon detox juice
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
There's a point around the one and a half minute mark where the keg stand goes from impressive to pathetic
Shit. I'm running the whole hotel right now. The front desk girl had to run home because she left her vibrator on the counter and her brother, mom, and grandmother surprised her and are showing up to her place before she gets off work. This will end badly no matter what.
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
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