are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
They should make Jack Daniels chap stick
I wish i could be on x for the rest of my life.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Btw, whenever you feel discouraged about your life, think about me being frantically upset bc my mobile porn site limited me to only 5 videos a day
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
You better fucking tell me or I'm turning blow job week into go fuck yourself week.
So I stole cocaine from one of my Tinder hookups
And that is the most millennial sentence I've ever said
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
Southwest doesn't have zingzang bloody Mary mix. I'm gonna file a complaint with the FAA
I never thought I'd be on my couch watching Star Trek, getting my tits rubbed while crying.
Randomize
