New rule: no balls on the kitchen counter.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
He passed out on the floor and you kept hitting him in the dick and screaming "hammer of justice".
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Ever have a day where u just waNna wake up get a blow job eat food and chill I just want today to be that day
Water park on acid. THIS NEEDS TO HAPPEN!!
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Some girl is sitting topless in the kitchen and having a Skype video chat with some guy. I already like it here.
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
he went to the bathroom at 5am only to come back and squeeze my boob before going back to sleep
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
No more pre-dentist shots, I just puked on my hygienist
While he was at a job interview yesterday, I was dropping acid. So that's the aesthetic of our relationship rn.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me
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