You work out of a Hotel?
Moan for me like Helen Keller
I love how adderall is equivalent to money on a college campus. just got a ride home and paid the driver in adderall...yeeah buddy
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
do you guys have 30-35 shot glasses? because if not, i don't even see a point in me coming
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
the breathalyzer kept saying danger. we made our new slogan danger we need more shots
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Randomize
