He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
My history with restaurant waiters is severely limiting our dinner options.
After me and my boyfriend broke up I had to resist the temptation to send a mass text to my booty calls saying "thank you for your patience. it will be rewarded."
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
You realize at the bar last night we blew on imaginary whistles like rose from titanic right?
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
The worst thing about him living around the corner is that who ever suggests the booty call is the one that walks over.
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
I want to share a beverage of the alcoholic category with you, but I'm conflicted about getting out from under my covers.
He just seemed to happy to be having sex with me that it ruined the mood for me. I just wanted to punch him.
Made out with sailor moon tonight. Childhood dreams do come true.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
