I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
would it be rude to tell a homeless man that he should sell the lebron jersey and brand new nikes he's wearing if he's really that hungry
i pretty much saved your life. you were so conviced that your nail polish remover bottle was "Vodka Lemon"
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
i was beyond wasted so he tucked me into bed and wrapped the blankets around me like a burrito. then gave me a bloody mary and an omlet when i woke up. and who says living with your cousin is a bad thing?!
I'll just have to do enough fangirling for the both of us. Nipples engaged.
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
I used the line "you don't have enough pillows". Then left. Thought you should know.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
Drugs and unwanted pregnancies are the only things that I'm good at. College comes in at a close third.
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
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