That's intense
God is so good, I would give him a blow job right now.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
My bra broke.... so I Macguyvered that shit together with floss
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
She was trying to drink out of the beer bong and she thought it didn't work. Little did she know there was no beer in there. Then she got mad at us. Girls.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
So I'll bring my machete and we can smoke your shit.
Out of context, that is a hilariously scary message.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Randomize
