Hey theres a creepy ass guy stalking our house.i would look alive geting in 2nite.
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
So about class tomorrow..... i,ll be there. But I may be still a bit drink and wearing a suit. I'll explain when I get there.
I might have to break the "you stay out of my sister and ill stay out of yours" pact that i have with tim
She had another shot and asked if I wanted to taste her tongue ring. Then I helped her pee.
I just used my glow stick from the dance to find my way in the bathroom to puke. Who wants me on their corporate team
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
The attempted closet masturbation was unforgivable.
That was the most fucked up I've ever seen him. He had the fucking Canola Oil!
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
...and now I welcome the sweet embrace of death.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
I just smoked weed out of a tomahawk, then chased an armadillo with said tomahawk, I love my life.
I mean, he’s listed as “Andrew DC Threesome” in my phone. THATS HOW I REMEMBER HIM! How is that not the start of a fairytale?
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