at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
YOU GOT KICKED OUT OF FIVE GUYS LAST NIGHT FOR THROWING PEANUTS AT THE PEOPLE WHO WORK THERE?!
correction: escorted out
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
You told everybody that you were a dragon and then projectile vomited all over the kitchen.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
