What can i say im a girl who smells like weiners.
You closed the sidewalk off to pedestrians last night. With a glitter covered safety cone
This smoking ban is really fucking with my ability to fart in public
You told the bartender you needed 2 beers, and a shot of his cum...
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
I started carrying sissors in my purse to open plan B with. Both ashamed and proud.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
Gave a guy a blowjob in a convent. Place in hell is now secured...
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