your thong is hanging out like whoa
He lets me throw up in him even if i do it mistakeily- erica talking about the toilet
Do you ever look at a vegetable and think "that would be awesome to shove up my vagina"?
I just foul balled at work. I had taken off my coat too… had to go to the sink wash my hands then go back to the stall and pick up my coat. I hope the guy shitting in the stall next to me didn’t figure out what happened.
I guess I should mention that I have already fucked the Fed Ex guy.
That changes everything.
I was. I was trying to blow bubbles in the toilet after I threw up in it. They had to carry me everywhere. I lost a sock.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
I didn't ask for a picture of your soft dick.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
I don't remember how I broke my nose last night, but I woke up with dried blood everywhere. Also, you should tell that guy how you feel.
So do I get to ride the beginning of the November stache or what?
Nothing says happy Monday quite like coffee and oral sex.
Does the girl you just banged want anything from Taco Bell?
I couldn't have possibly been that bad
You had her flip the penny over to the lucky side before you picked it up and ate it...
Randomize
