U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
yeah my parents were only ten feet away and we somehow managed to do it in five different positions without them noticing
we walked in to her beating him with a broom while he was trying to sweep ramen into a box. there were packing peanuts everywhere.
he stopped talking to me after i tried to use his body as a surf board
Some girl, somewhere, is going to wake up with my face paint on her vagina
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
He says he won't get serious until he screws an Asian and a virgin. I should just place an ad on Craig's List
Wanted: female 18-24 of Asian or partial Asian descent to fuck my ginger boyfriend. Must be willing and able to fake virginity. No emotional connection needed, just sex, just once. Further contact post sex not needed (or particularly desired)
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
He licked my mouth. I felt like I was making out with my dog.
And when I feel bad about myself I go to the library and suck my pen over an open book, counting the seconds until a guy sits across from me and tries to get my attention
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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