Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
Please come pick me up? I sleep walked to planned parenthood again.
He said he forgot to take his shoes off, and that he was a bad boy because he was walking on the carpet. Then he sang. Then he shouted "I'M STILL FORGETTING."
I fell asleep on the table at Denny's. Told the waitress to wake me up when my burger was there.
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
The only thing you accomplished yesterday was dry humping me on the floor of my work place WHILE I was working.
She was grinding on him and then she was eating a Big Mac. Who the hell brings a Big Mac to the club?
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
It's six am and her daughter just walked in on her mom and roomful of naked people playing strip spoons. glad Im apart of that childhood memory....
So what you're saying is that The Magic Kingdom is ruining our plans to get laid?
I told him no rough stuff and he immediately bit my ass. Who the fuck does that?
Vacuum the place before you go out of town there are random glitter cocks everywhere
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
Randomize
