Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I went to check the drunk texts i sent last night but my phone deleted them already. Even my phone is ashamed.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I've blown him while he hit my bong, I've blown him while he played video games and now I'm looking for a new challenge. Don't even try suggesting a blumpkin.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
AND HOLY SHIT FLUBBER IS ON NETFLIX
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
What's a sexy way to say balls deep???
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
That’s all I need in life: vibrators, butt plugs, strawberry lube, and sour gummies
Randomize
