franzia sundays are my new favorite holiday
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I'm hoping you were seen by someone holding a frozen turkey at 230 in the morning
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I told you naked hot tub wrestling would turn bad now one of us has a gash on the head and another a black eye
Had a vaginal orgasm. I feel like I made sex my bitch.
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
Is it uncouth to masturbate the night before a gyno appointment?
I couldn't be more proud to be a cougar. Just wondering how these twenty somethings learned how to fuck so well? Must be porn.
So random question: what's a good way to tell your brother that his Skype sex kept you awake last night? I'm not really sure how that conversation begins.
Randomize
