Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
i effin hate jeff goldbloom.
but i totally would still bang him
I closed that bar. Sang every Beatles song in the book. Made Somoan friends.
I'm still reeling over the fact that you beat us all at Risk while you were flat on your ass drunk and falling asleep on South America.
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Looks like a significant portion of my drinking money just became legal fees.
I feel like a food baby is going to burst from my stomach and eat all the leftovers until another food baby rips out of its stomach. And so on. It's truly a merry Christmas.
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
Just did an entire nights worth of bar crawl in an hour. Boom
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
I would rather suck a dick or two than go there
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Randomize
