i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
No flights in Europe due to the volcano erupting. God himself is telling me to spend 4.20 in Amsterdam.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
This chick had a condom box organized by size with dividers that glowed in the dark.
they saw the dick pic he sent and started calling him 'subway'
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Ate 3 ghost peppers and chased them with Everclear last night. Currently on the toilet cursing the universe and everyone in it.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I have four things I would like to do over summer too... Problem is they're all roommates
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