Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I'm sorry my penis didn't work
there are definitely too many half naked pictures of me out there for me to ever be famous.
Yeah next time you are over I'll let you beat it on her pillows and you will feel better.
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
so I am that guy with the red solo cup in class. someone has to step it up.
why does drunk me think that doing things like throwing up on my desk and all over my 15 page lab report is okay
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
Randomize
