that's an acceptable place to lick
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
Any day you don't mysteriously wake up in the garbage is a good day.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
He went to WalMart with $30 and came back with a watch, a basketball and an engagement ring.
It makes me really sad that some people start their saturdays running or biking instead of with 3 shots of tequila, a sausage biscuit, freaks & geeks and 2 orgasms.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
she pointed to my dick and said you are going to save the world
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
what happened to you last night?
I dunno man, i pissed in a urinal, sent you a picture of my vagina and woke up with 25 bar stamps on my arms.. you tell me
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
My EX’s roommate heard about the breakup and offered to help me bang it out. I think she hates her even more than I do.
Randomize
