U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
I smelled like jager and penis. The only cure was a pack of camels and plan b.
You say "arrested with two drunk girls" like it's a bad thing....
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My recently uploaded pictures to facebook: Me partying on Beale St. with a single girl on each arm. Ex's recently upload pictures: Several pictures of cats. I win.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
i said i was sorry for his girlfriend's cancer diagnosis and he said "easy come, easy go" and tried to fuck me
I think i found piece of your tooth in my dick this morning when i took a shower
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In case this wasn't clear when i said being his wingman was "hopeless", his date walked out on him when he poured a beer on his head trying to shotgun it
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
So I just went to 3 different stores because there is no way I can walk out of one store with this many reeses and still have my pride.
I think I'm a wingman for every guy who bangs a girl I scarred in highschool.
Well pulled into the driveway, and there she was. Kinda like a Vegas version of the mint on a pillow
I just watched a porn called gay of thrones and I think I've reached a new low in my life
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