oh and i feel obligated to inform you that there will be no sexin' because it's 'lady time' for me. so this ain't a booty call.
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
Our fuck buddy relationship took a turn for the worst after we were drunk and I punched him in the face when he asked for a three some with my best friend.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
They switched jackets and you didn't notice. You made out with both of them and had no idea
He unbuckled his belt, tipped his hat at me, then told me to "saddle up"
this is like your 5th cowboy right? where do you keep finding these guys?!!
We won't have time to talk.. I'll be rolling you a blunt and you'll be getting naked.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
I just hip-checked Santa and stole his cab.
If my life today were a movie the subtitle would be: Revenge of the Beer Shits
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
