I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
Are you available to help carry me into the house Monday?
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
I feel like a girl who eats her problems away with fast food.
When all else fails, you can always look down at your enormous penis.
I'm prostituting myself for tickets to Disney World. There's a contradiction there.
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
the insurance claim form from last night says foreign object removal from genitourinary tract so as far as the insurance company knows, it could have been a gerbil
I think him and kristen are pretty serious now.. I dont think he cheats on her, anymore.
I woke up next to him with nothing on and my thong around his neck. I just put my clothes on and left, but he still has my thong.
After the "sex" was over I dressed as quickly as possible. And then he came over to me stark naked and embraced me. For over a minute. And all I could think was please get your penis off my dress.
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