Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Ever got a vibrator stuck in ur hair? Is worse that getting ur hairbrush stuck.
...well that sucks.
i found the one person in the world who takes longer to cum than i do... mutual dissatisfaction is probably not the best foundation for a relationship.
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
God damn him and his understanding ways and little hip muscle things.
The only thing that was weird was that it WASN'T weird when she got out of the shower and saw me blowing him.
Definitely need to find a less healthy bootycalls. All this bitch got in her fridge is feta, English muffins and wheat grass. What the fuck can I make with that???
Found 2 Coors, problem solved.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
She shoved her hand down my pants and held my cock for thirty minutes in the bar. It was like she was letting all the other females know I was hers.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm going to force her to break up with me this week. Tonight I plan to shit the bed. If that doesn't work I'm not sure what's next.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
Randomize
