I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
there are 2 things i love giving: blowjobs & backrubs. how can i tell them that without sounding like a slut
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
I've been watching anime, masturbating and eating nutella for three days. I hope she never comes back.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I AM THERE IN SPIRIT, TICKLING YOUR BALLS
I mean there is a rehab there so its gotta be a good time
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
You stole my car to go to your boyfriends. Now your parents are fucking in the next room at top volume, and I have no way to escape..thought you should know that the amount of therapy I'll be needing for this is expensive.
You're the best friend ever.
Our Uber driver pulled over to show us Tinder some dick pics. Top that.
Randomize
