yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
you were eating the carrots out of my guinea pig's cage and saying that you needed them more than they ever would.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
Hey man sorry, can't talk. I'm already taking risks by ripping the bong on this conference call.
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Bro, I just googled 36 year old pussy so when I do see it I won't be shocked.
blowjobs from left handed girls are noticably better than from righties. these are the most important things I've learned this semester
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I shouldn't have watched rise of the planet of the apes and then gotten high. I'm now convinced that the cats are out to get me.
I turn 40 next week. I deserve to celebrate the end of my 30’s with a 21 year old dick
There is a sex dungeon behind the wine cellar. This is why I hate showing foreclosures.
Randomize
