Partly cloudy chance of praying to the porcelin gods
i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
marching band practice is quite the interesting soundtrack to sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Day 5 without masturbation. Fat chicks are back on the table
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Anyway, all that to say that tiny penises are a hassle.
UPDATE: THERE IS ASS EATING. I REPEAT: THERE IS ASS EATING.
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
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