Wasted at the beach. Toasting underage, overdeveloped girls. God bless 'em.
Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
did you hook up at the wedding?
No but I jerked off on the hotel sheets. I wanted to get my moneys worth.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
They just came out of my bathroom and asked if I could spare them a condom. See. Its a good thing I have some.
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis
He's just a really nice guy who stuck his tongue in the wrong place.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
Not too bad but came home early cuz business was shut down due to an employee sexually harrassing the inspector
Is her birthday actually on cinco de mayo? That makes so much sense
im looking at the positives. number one it stopped me from hooking up with vince infront of his girl, number two it gave me something to do instead of throwing up and number three i fuckin rocked his world
Yes. With one-hundred percent positivity I can say yes, I do not want you covered in waffles and syrup when I come home.
Randomize
