Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
You tipped the bathroom lady $20 and then yelled "IT'S YOUR LUCKY DAAAAAAAY" at her.
Cause i'm hanging over the toilet bowl and thinking about your ball in my mouth is not helping
I've just never had a dinner guest strut in, go directly to my bathroom, vomit.. then come out demanding whiskey and food.
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
Say what you will, but only I can throw up on someone's door and make it look like art.
That's the last time I'm letting you drink that apple vodka
Cocaine and dance dance revolution for 4 hours. I consider last night a success.
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
Can’t. Tonight’s a netflix and dick night
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