Just met a synchronized swimmer, can you imagine the things she could do in the water
Legs for days
Harpoon that
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
did you know you can prarie-dog a fart??
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
I wish alcohol would automatically work as birth control if you have sex drunk.
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
WHAT? When did I ever refer to one of my past hookups as "the rainforest guy"?
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I'm sorry but if you can't drink a bottle of wine without a glass, I do not think we can be friends.
Brunch got away from me. I might be a little high.
At the end of the night i was really thirsty and tied to a bedpost
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
Going through his web history. 10 hours ago he searched "how to put on condom with your teeth" I think I'm getting it tonight.
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