you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
My mom just set up beer pong in the dining room for family game night. and you ask why I'm still living at home.
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
Dude, you vomitted into a trashcan wearing your bear hands and high heels. Your drug dealer even said that was rough.
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I just delete my bank app from my phone to have enough storage to download tindr. Is this my life now?
I was struggling morally, but once I let go, I came pretty hard.
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Also, why does our bed smell like mayonnaise?
Randomize
