He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
I'm buying drugs in the library...And it's not even finals time. What has my life become?
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
He doesn't care. He wouldn't care if my vag grew arms and smacked him in the face.
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
Are you wearing clothes?
Fuck no, who do you think I am
we need to invent and abuse teleportation
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
my gynecologist gave me a high 5 for not getting any STD's since my last visit and said "Way to go Annabeth!" you have twenty seconds to get to my level
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize