my roomate judo was messing around with a girl who recently had a kid, when he was sucking her tits milk came out lmao
omg. if hes just gonna get mad everytime i have sex with one of his "friends" then it was never gonna work out
I have a king size bed, I guarantee multiple orgasms, and I'll give you a ride home in the morning. Respond quickly.
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
the number of desperate girls at the gym right now is unfair. it would be cruel not to let one blow me.
I'm ordering a large vanilla ice cream with rainbow sprinkles so when I vom tonight it will look like lisa frank dolphins in acid trip colors
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
I asked him to change the channel. There was no way I could do reverse cowgirl with golf on.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
I'm shopping for Mother's Day cards while waiting for my herpes medication. What is life.
ah lol cocaine is strange when I dose I feel like an elephant running through a grocery store
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
Randomize
