fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
You told him your wedding ring was part of your costume. not okay!!
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I'm thinking about wearing a strap-on just to freak him out the next time he pulls my pants off.
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
Props to the guy blatantly doing coke in the bathroom at the bar. Walked out of the stall with a credit card in hand, sniffing loudly and shouting "choo choo"
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
The sex may be the only reason I like him. I've confused the multiple orgasms for feelings.
It's almost sad. It's like the Harambe of vagina stories really.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Is it too forward if I ask him to bring a condom when he comes over to work on our project?
how does that bad decision feel?
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