WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
Why do guys in porn never have boxers on?
better question: why do you always text me when you're watching porn
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I'm trying to decide if I want to bring home my 'beer champion' trophy or my chem books.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I gotta stop tellin complete strangers at the bar that they're the godparents to my first born
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
You tried to pay for our cab with the 2 dollars you got from selling your natty ice outside the strip club.
Yeah even if I got stabbed it would be worth it
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
We were having a serious discussion about Blue's Clues and I just kept thinking, 'you've seen me naked'.
I decided to have a date tonight. Back on horse I go. Or aiming to be on a horse cock one day. You know. However that metaphor goes.
Last night at a party someone grabbed my ass so I just fucking punched them in the face then went home and ate a frozen pizza
Good morning beautiful! Wanna steal a cat this weekend?
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