i just woke up in a strange room and the first thing i saw was a chewbacca mask... wtf
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I don't know how this happened but I got an email thanking me for being a Waffle House regular. HOW DO THEY KNOW?? Maybe I need to stop going there shitfaced.
In attempts to Not be THAT GIRL in front of my new crush I will only drink a 12 pack instead of my normal case.
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
I brought some guy back to have cheese whiz with me. Then sent him home
Was he satisfied?
No, and very vocal about it.
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
I may or may not have just ruined a marriage. But in my defense I got all my drinks for free tonight.
Also adulthood=replacing meals with bourbon. And not getting your hair caught in a fan.
party tonight. bring as many traffic cones as you can find. we need to section off the blackout drunks way better this time
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
we're at the bar celebrating my ex bootycall getting his new gf pregnant... and me narrowly escaping a future as kitty foreman
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
